Friday, 3 May 2013

"Draw the Circle" by Mark Batterson

Once again, it's been an age since I've updated.

I begin to see a pattern uncovered-- I write more when God is flowing out revelations upon my head. I can't help but share!

Perhaps it's the crush of the wedding planning and the childcare and the photography courses and sessions and the fact that there are never quite enough hours in the day, but lately I haven't felt a lot of active growth in myself and my walk with Him. Even though Charles and I are doing hours of couples' devotionals and Christian pre-marital counseling reading and teachings, and praying together. It doesn't replace spending time with Him, basking in His presence, making little discoveries about Him and about who I am in Him just on my own... And little by little, He faithfully and lovingly breaks through... I'm so thankful that He forever pursues me.

Last night I couldn't sleep. Because I tend to be a pretty good sleeper across all time zones, this always makes me wonder if God is trying to get my attention and it's only in the quiet of the middle of the night that life is silent enough for my forever untrained ears to hear...

He drew me to pick back up the book I've been reading to review for Thomas Nelson's Booksneeze. "Draw the Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge" by Mark Batterson has been speaking to my soul from the first page. Through 40 days of stories of experiences of and answers to prayer, both personally and corporately, I am both convicted and inspired. I ALWAYS know my prayer life is not what it could be. I am not one of the sainted ones who spend 23 of their 24 hours a day on their knees in intercession. I pray often throughout the day, but that sacred, focused time, where all other distractions are pushed away and it becomes ONLY you and Him, and you lay yourself open to hear His voice... those times are far more rare. And as I read this book I find myself longing for more of them, like a feeling of homesickness...


Reading this book has the potential to change my life, and yours. All I can think about now is how BIG He is and how huge is our mission and how purposeful our lives are meant to be and how intimately close He is if we reach out to Him! And how desperately I want more and more of Him. As much of His Spirit as He will infuse into my little life...
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." -- Romans 12:12

Thursday, 7 March 2013

Pondersome Bride-to-be...

It's 12:54am and I can't sleep for thinking.

I'll give you one guess what I'm thinking about...

Did you guess?


This guy pretty much dominates my thoughts at any given time. Tonight, I'm thinking about becoming Mrs. Kelton, the hugeness of placing my hand in his and knowing it is FOREVER. I feel like I have always kinda been on the other side of a pane of glass watching other people fall in love and get married. I've thought a great deal about it, and developed my own ideas of commitment and what it looks like and what it entails. But now I stand before it-- 87 days off-- and the magnitude of it brings me to my knees. This is huge. What we are about to do is huge. What hundreds of people do every day in getting married is huge. And I so want God to prepare my heart. I so want to be the best possible thing for this handsome man in my life. As ready as I can be... 

Planning the wedding has been fun... and stressful... and lonely sometimes as he's so far away. Often, I just wish we were married already. The tiny little details seem so petty in the grand scheme of things. I mean, do I really care what kind of china people eat off of on the 1st of June when I am stepping up to make a most solemn vow to do what is really quite impossible-- faithfully love this other fallible human. We say that word so nonchalantly, but truly loving is active and alive. I'm promising to ALWAYS treat him with and feel toward him love with patience, with kindness, without envy, without boasting, never dishonouring him or seeking my own good instead of his own, not getting easily angered, not keeping a record of ways he wrongs me, not delighting in evil, always delighting in his good, always protecting him and this sacred space between us, always choosing to trust him, always persevering with him, always hoping with him...

I am a romantic to a fault, I'll admit. But even as I envision in my head that moment-- me in my Mom's dress remade for me, clutching my fragrant bouquet of peonies, him in his grey tux with tails, springtime trees blooming, the pastor holding the bible out before him, our family and friends from far and wide gazing at us as we stand side by side in my parents' beautiful backyard... Even as I envision that moment of saying, "I do," to the man I adore with all my heart, I know I can't really love him that well. I KNOW there will be hiccups. Because I know the extent of my selfishness. I know how unlike Christ I am. I know how desperately I am in need of grace every day...

But I also know I can make that pledge, and Charles can too, because Christ in us loves through us. Perfectly. His patience never wears out. His hope is endless. And when the moments come where the ideal of marriage truly feels impossible, He is where I can turn-- where we both can turn-- so that we can turn back to one another with that same old adoration in our eyes... 

That doesn't make this vow any less huge or the thought of making it any less daunting. But I am so excited to step into the impossibility of marriage and find Christ waiting to show us how to walk in His footsteps within it. Isn't this what we're here on earth for? To learn to walk in trust of Him. Marriage is the next adventure He has for me to learn that in... 

And I am wide-eyed in wonder at Him.
And at the fact that it's my turn! I'm on the other side of that windowpane and I'm not even sure how or when that happened :) 

So, the countdown continues. 

p.s. Completely off topic-- this song is very pretty :)

Sunday, 3 March 2013

Brand New Niece

My long-awaited baby niece was born last Sunday, and I was given the honour of doing her birth photography. I cannot tell you what a thrill it was to see her enter the world, and to capture it all as the birth progressed-- the tension, the pain, the tenderness, the love...

If you'd like to check out a few photos of Gracelyn Mae's birth, as well as some of the details, they're up here: http://whispersoflightphotography.blogspot.com/2013/03/documentary-style-birth-photography-in.html

She was a whopper at 10lbs, 1oz and a head circumference of 14 3/4. And she is beautiful, and sweet, and snuggly, and adorable, and her big sisters and big brother adore her, and I can't quite get enough of her :)

I am the most blessed Auntie in the world with my 4 little nieces and 2 little nephews!

Thursday, 7 February 2013

"Miraculous: A Fascinating History of Signs, Wonders, and Miracles" by Kevin Belmonte

I've been so encouraged reading Kevin Belmonte's "Miraculous" and hearing the testimony's of journeys walked with God before mine... but I was nearly tempted to put this book aside without finishing it.

I am so thankful I stuck with it to the end!!

When I first started reading it, though impressed by Kevin Belmonte's eloquent way with words and choice of quotations by well-known theologians and commentators, I must admit, I was bored. And disappointed. I thought I was about to read a book documenting miraculous events that might encourage me and move me to wonder. Instead (and perhaps this says more about me than it does the book!), the first few chapters were reiterating stories I already well knew. They are wonderful bible stories of God's faithfulness and propensity to use ordinary people to accomplish magnificent tasks in His name. But they were stories I was very familiar with, and just not what I was expecting... So I nearly wrote my first review of a book I didn't read cover to cover (don't worry, I would have admitted that in the review!)

But then the chapters changed to stories of para-biblical historical figures-- people and stories I wasn't so well acquainted with, or had never before been introduced to. And their stories stirred up my soul to wonder, to awe, to conviction, to longing, to joy. Documenting the miraculous testimonies of such intriguing figures as St. Augustine, Perpetua, Julian of Norwich, D.L. Moody, G.K. Chesterton, William Wilberforce, Corrie Ten Boom, and some I had never before heard of but am so thankful that I have now, like Clyde Kilby (whose childlike wonder in the halls of academia challenge me to find more wonder and beauty and joy in each moment I have wherever I am!), Holly Ordway, and a doctor emboldened by Jesus whose tale touched Cecil B. Demille so much that he wrote about it in his autobiography.

Cecil B Demille was a movie director back in Hollywood's golden age. Though remembered most for his The Ten Commandments, he directed an earlier film called King of Kings which was powerfully used to touch people the world over. In Demille's autobiography he writes of a Polish pastor he called Wallner who was so moved after seeing the film King of Kings that he decided to become a pastor and serve that King all the rest of his days. This pastor related a story to Demille of a doctor in his congregation who was a Messianic Jew-- a Jewish man who recognized Christ as his Saviour. When Hitler invaded Czechoslovakia, this doctor was sent to a concentration camp, and gained the special attention of the gestapo because of the way he encouraged the other prisoners.
"Suffering and torture were brutally inflicted on this steadfast believer. He was repeatedly struck with an iron rod until one of his arms had to be amputated. Still, he refused to be silent about his faith. Ultimately, as Demille's autobiography reveals, 'one Gestapo officer beat the doctor's heard against a stone wall until blood was streaming down his face.' The officer then brandished a mirror before the doctor's face. 'Look at yourself now,' he said with incredible cruelty. 'Now you look like your Jewish Christ.'
Lifting the one hand he had left, the doctor said, 'Lord [Jesus], never in my life have I received such honor-- to resemble You.' Those proved to be his last words."
Belmonte continues to tell the story Demille wrote in his autobiography. The Gestapo officer was so pierced by those words, by the witness of the doctor, that he was wracked with guilt at having killed him, and he sought out the doctor's pastor-- Wallner-- and was led to faith in Christ. Pastor Wallner told him, "Perhaps God let you kill that good man to bring you to the foot of the Cross, where you can help others." When the Gestapo officer went back to the concentration camp, it was to work as an insider with Wallner and the Czech Underground to free many Jews.

As Cecil B. Demille reports it, Wallner told him that if it had not been for him seeing that film which God used to draw him to Himself as a young man, he never would have become a pastor, and "Three hundred and fifty Jewish children would have died in the ditches."

Oh.my.goodness.

These are the stories that I RELISH hearing! That give me gooseflesh upon reading and renew the faith in my heart and being part of something so much bigger than you or I simply in belonging to Jesus!

And it's these sorts of stories that Belmonte so expertly relays to us in his book Miraculous: A Fascinating History of Signs, Wonders, and Miracles. Go out and find yourself a copy! Or come over and borrow mine :)

* *I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their [...] book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255

Saturday, 26 January 2013

No More Goodbyes

It's no secret, I'm missing my man. It's been 3 months and 8 days since we kissed goodbye this last time. This marks the longest time we've ever gone without seeing one another...

I was recalling to mind the other day another time we said goodbye for a long period. Charles and I were "seeing one another" and getting to know one another for 14 months before we decided to officially become a couple, knowing that when we did it was like making a little promise to someday make a bigger promise. And a little over a month after making that first little promise to one another on a cold Swedish ferry ride on the north sea, he was helping me with my bags at Victoria station, and I was boarding a train out to the airport to follow God into one of the greatest adventures of my lifetime-- a few months serving Him in the great unknown (to me) of Africa.

I remember I had found a big lollipop with the words "I love you" written on in icing and, knowing my man's playful spirit, had bought it to give him in that moment, even though when I bought it in Sweden I hadn't actually yet told him those 3 magic words. He'd asked me early on how soon I felt it was appropriate to say it, and I'd told him that I didn't use those words flippantly, because to me they hold a vow in their uttering. To me, love is not just an emotion, but an action, and if I wasn't sure I could live love to him, I wouldn't speak it to him. But that New Year's Eve, when I was visiting him in London-- in his bedroom before we headed to a party at a friend of his-- with butterflies in my stomach, I looked him in the eye and told him with conviction, "I think I love you, Charles." He replied quickly, as if it had been pent up within him just waiting to be let out for ages, "I know I love you."

And 4 days later, a kind gatekeeper at the train station let him cross the ticket gates with me, even though he hadn't a ticket, because he saw we were saying an emotional goodbye. Bless that man! And I reached into my bag and produced my giant "I love you" lollipop to leave with him, in hopes of lightening the heaviness of the goodbye. And I leaned down from the train to kiss him one last time, and then held the gaze of his full brown eyes through the train window until we could no longer see one another...

The other night it dawned on me that once he gets over here, hopefully in March, we should never have to suffer through another of these long goodbyes again. Who knows what life will bring and what kind of ministry opportunities may come and what our international marriage will require of us when it comes to the subject of time apart, but regardless, it all seems different when we're looking forward to saying "I do" this June. Any parting in the future will most likely be short, and will always hold the promise of being reunited soon, because we'll belong to one another. No more goodbyes...

So I will appreciate this time as a time that will never be relived, and look forward to that one because I have been longing for it for so long. And I will take his hand on the 1st of June and walk into forever...

Oh, how I count the days!

Tuesday, 22 January 2013

Les Miserables and Reckless Grace

Reckless grace...

This is what's on my mind today. God's reckless grace.

This past weekend my cousin and bridesmaid Jacks and I went to an afternoon matinee of Les Miserables, sheltered from the bitter cold of the lowest temps so far in this Minnesota winter. Admittedly, I adore this story. I have read the beautiful book by Victor Hugo twice now, and joyfully saw the beloved musical on Broadway when I was 15. I was prepared for the film version to be EPIC (and BEYOND BEAUTIFUL artistically). And I was not disappointed!

But I don't think I was prepared to be as moved or convicted by it as I was.

The French title, Les Miserables translates to "The Miserable" and how prolifically they portray the misery of the human condition. I cannot deny it, I cried pretty much the whole way through. But the beauty of it is, the entire story circles around how the misery of life on earth cannot compare to the hope of heaven. It is about a man touched by God's grace so deeply, that no matter what comes, he stands by the truth of it, knowing that his reward is heaven. I was literally so moved watching it that I nearly stood up and praised God in the middle of the darkened theatre in the final number!

I'm trying not to give you a spoiler here, but: When the priest near the beginning offers Jean Valjean grace after he had already taken advantage of his hospitality, he cannot know whether Jean Valjean will use that bit of grace to turn his life around. He cannot know that he will not just take advantage again, and yet he offers it anyway-- recklessly-- trusting that changing the man's heart is God's work, his responsibility is only to give the same amount of grace that Christ gave Him-- and that is grace without measure...

This speaks to me. This reminds me anew what Christ has done for me, and so what He has me here on earth, in the midst of this earthly misery, to do, to stand for, to point toward. His grace is reckless. His love is unconditional, measureless. He is endless hope. HE is our very reward, the hope of heaven to cradle us in and guide us through the desolate darkness that the here and now can hold...

This is why viewing the new film of Victor Hugo's legendary story Les Miserable made me want to stand up and praise God... His hope is brighter and longer and deeper and truer than any misery and grief in this blink of an eye existence. And because of that hope, we can love recklessly, showing His grace in living lives of compassion and integrity.

I am breathless with thankfulness...
(And I cannot wait to see the film and read the book again!)

"To love another person is to see the face of God..."
-- a lyric in the finale of Les Miserables

Friday, 18 January 2013

Vote for Our Story

Wanna do me a favour?

David's Bridal is hosting a contest to find the sweetest engagement story :) Grand prize is $2,500-- can you imagine the help that would be at the beginning of our life together with everything all up in the air?! And fan favourite prize is a $500 gift certificate to David's Bridal, which would be such a help for the wedding itself :)

So, we can vote once every 24 hours til the end of the month here: https://apps.facebook.com/offerpop/Contest.psp?c=267445&u=49293&a=254553244581393&p=57149201009&v=Entry&id=860555&rest=1

Would you vote for Charles and my story? As many times as you can before the end of the month?

Thank you!!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...